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6.1 The Skill

It helps to have your own personal version of Morse Code. When you are in a public setting, and things are going awry, it is handy to have agreed upon signals to cast across the room.
It could be a certain kind of sneeze, or a well worn joke, or a pet name. The message you want to covey can vary as well. You may want to be able to stop a wayward conversation in its tracks. Perhaps you honey is talking about something confidential, and does not realize it.
In any case, you can talk ahead of time about how to get the other person's attention in a subtle way without scarring anyone.
Another time for a secret code is when the two of you are alone, but spiraling out of bounds. For awhile we used the precise sound that Wiley Coyote made when he was falling over a cliff, and crashed at the bottom of the canyon. For us it was a reminder of a quote we love.
"In the presence of true married love, evil spirits cast themselves over the deep and perish."
When John and I get sucked into an argument with no positive outcome insight, one of us might remember and make that fall-and-crash sound. Then we can both smile and step out of the quicksand.
Talk together about what situation you feel needs a life raft, and a way to rescue your relationship when it happens.

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